A heartfelt thought.

I could see her stalled behind the fence. She had just arrived and already set to go. And I knew, to wait for me was not one of her priorities. But I had to make it to her or... Without a nano-second's pause, I leapt upto the stairs. I frantically climbed up- 4-5 steps at a time. I had just recovered from acute bronchitis and had Grade 2 dyspnea (ATS classification). But it did not matter. Nothing mattered. I had to catch this 8.32.
I jumped into it as it started moving. I was greeted with astonishment by the ladies standing in the first class cubicle. (By no measures is that a compartment!) Obviously. Suddenly out of no where I appear with a rather loud thud, gasping for breath, wheezing and then coughing my lungs out. I must have looked real sick, but they didn't know how triumphant I felt on not having to wait another 5 minutes on the platform. I felt like a victor in my heart, so what if I was dead in my lungs! Spirit of Mumbai!
By the time next station came, I had paid off some of the "oxygen debt". Now I was comfortably standing facing against the wind near the door of the compartment. Train-travelers would know that that place is only second to a seat one can manage to grab against the wind's direction. I wore my headphones and switched on the radio. They play beautiful songs in the morning. (Especially 107.1o). My beautiful day had begun.
By the time the next station came, I was struck by a strange realization. There was place to stand next to me, yet women preferred to stand opposite to me. Well, don't start to imagine. I was surprised that they were standing in the windless zone, which is unusual. Then I looked a little beyond and I realized why.
I was standing facing the second class men's compartment. They faced first class men's compartment. Class preference or what, I thought.
Amused by my discovery, I ran a quick scan on the men facing me, careful enough not to stop at any face to establish an eye contact and give the wrong signal that I was staring at THEM. About 99% of them were actually 'looking' at the women in my compartment. Few faced the opposite side, perhaps taking a break. I was further amused. Man! The guts these people have to flaunt their degree of sexual inclination so openly! A train of thoughts started running. These men, the hard working men, pushing their physical capacities beyond the limit everyday, never cribbing about the under-payment, almost all of these men must be married. Their women, being different only in sex, enduring the same life everyday as them. These 'second class' men look at these 'first class' women with admiration of a life that they can't even dream of. Educated, intellectual, self-respecting, outspoken, vain women. They never knew such a species existed until now. I thought, they must be probably pleasantly intimidated by these women. Although they never appreciate the similar substance of the women they return to every night, they sure admire the apparent "women of substance" respectfully now. Their amazement felt like a child's bewilderment when he visits the zoo for the first time. Only here no one's in a cage. There's just a barrier. Thrilled by the sheer marvel of the poise these women displayed.... " Stupid, idiot! Let me go! Let me go you b@#*&@!"
Someone suddenly pulled the chain of my thoughts! The train was halted at the busiest station on harbour line. A woman shouting these words ran into my compartment, almost stamping the feet of another standing opposite to me. She looked furious! As she began settling down and adjusting her dupatta, I looked in the direction from which she came half a second ago. As the train started moving, I saw a group of men the woman must have torn through to catch this train. In a moment I understood what must have happened. I didn't need to realize the thought in words in my mind. I only felt the mixture of feelings that a girl is made familiar with in our society.
Reflexly, I looked up again. I saw those men turned towards me. In another moment I turned my face away, in disgust, anger, embarrassment and most strongly of all, fear...